One step

The 23rd of Sept and this time last year Ihad moved into another house and had a good job. And now I am moving again. Because I did get the 550 deposit. But and this is a big but dont have octobers rent it is what it is.

I got my pain meds on the 13th and Jodi has left me 17 I will be glad to get out of here.  Anyway I now need to find a bed and a chair and a kitchen table. i have lost everything. No towels and washrag or nothing. anyway one step is better than none   gues 

2am and just plain bull shit

't It's 2am and can't sleep. I swear it just never let's up and I can't put this on my other blog it would depress to many people and make them feel uncomfortable. Steph and Scott will probabley wont get her kids back. CPS crooked asses that they are will give them to her ex not because he loves the kids and does for them. He is in the army has money not saying he hadnt seen them in a year and when he was here he only spent an hour with them because he was parting. But that she bitch of a judge had her ass kissed a lot. Don't know how bad this is going to go down. They should catch him out and I am sure there is bog to put him in.

Talked to the landlord of the apt I want but there is know way I can get 550 for the deposit. It will hard just getting the 550 for the dam rent. I dont know I guess I am not suppose to have a home. Looks like will have to put BA down. And the next person that tells me to pray I am going to smack. Like the God they talk about is going to help me. Sure and I believe I have gold in my shoe. My sister in law could help but she wont. I dont know I am sick to death of the whole dam thing and that is saying alot. Have to move cant keep being with Jodi but since I cant get this place dont know what I am going to do. I should try to sleep Jodi will be home tomorrow and she will have a hang over so the day will be a bitch. I hate people and I cant stand having to deal with them. Yes, there is a God, but is back has been turned on me for along long time. And I doubt if there is anygoing back. So the bullshit continues and the hate rises up and that is the world according to Sheryl

Holding breath good bad or indifferent

I don't know whether to hold my breath, or assume that it is going to work out or not. My friend as lived in the back apt of this house for 12years and finally we think the front part of the house will be free soon. There is a for rent sign out and I called the landlord and he said he would know more tue or thurs but he knows I am a friend of Diane's which hopefully will help as she is always on time with her rent and she is very very clean. Of course the down side is it is 500 deposit and 500 amonth rent. I will have to pay electric but everything including heat is electric so maybe I can get on the budget.It has two bedrooms but one is small but oh I could really use it as a art studio and then with a small bed for Bailey to visit. And BA would be safe there. And there is a washer and dryer included. It has a small back porch attached close to hers and then a front door leading out to the frontyard.  She is making all type of plans to get me moved. But, I am afraid to make any big plans and it isnt like I have any big pieces to move other than my TV and Scott would have to carry it.She wants to go tuesday and get all my laundry caught up which is good butttttt I just dont know. I have to move and get away from Jodi so she cant blame me for what she does or doesnt do. I even told the landlord that Diane and I would do the cleaning. She figures we can wash the walls and everything down and do the carpets one day then the next day bring my things over and then pull stove and refrigerator and washer and dryer out and scrub everything down and get the curtains up. Sounds good I am ready to move in now. And I have to find me a bed as I dont have one. And some kind of chair for the living room. I just dont feel good and how can you explain that. I feel like staying in bed and just not gettingup but while lying there then I feel like wow I could get up and do something and once up the bad feelings come back.Stress or just plain tired of struggling who the hell knows.  Well, I am going to lay down again and try and figure out how I am going to pay the landlord. I have to move so I have to find away. labor day boy they named that right.