One step

The 23rd of Sept and this time last year Ihad moved into another house and had a good job. And now I am moving again. Because I did get the 550 deposit. But and this is a big but dont have octobers rent it is what it is.

I got my pain meds on the 13th and Jodi has left me 17 I will be glad to get out of here.  Anyway I now need to find a bed and a chair and a kitchen table. i have lost everything. No towels and washrag or nothing. anyway one step is better than none   gues 

2am and just plain bull shit

't It's 2am and can't sleep. I swear it just never let's up and I can't put this on my other blog it would depress to many people and make them feel uncomfortable. Steph and Scott will probabley wont get her kids back. CPS crooked asses that they are will give them to her ex not because he loves the kids and does for them. He is in the army has money not saying he hadnt seen them in a year and when he was here he only spent an hour with them because he was parting. But that she bitch of a judge had her ass kissed a lot. Don't know how bad this is going to go down. They should catch him out and I am sure there is bog to put him in.

Talked to the landlord of the apt I want but there is know way I can get 550 for the deposit. It will hard just getting the 550 for the dam rent. I dont know I guess I am not suppose to have a home. Looks like will have to put BA down. And the next person that tells me to pray I am going to smack. Like the God they talk about is going to help me. Sure and I believe I have gold in my shoe. My sister in law could help but she wont. I dont know I am sick to death of the whole dam thing and that is saying alot. Have to move cant keep being with Jodi but since I cant get this place dont know what I am going to do. I should try to sleep Jodi will be home tomorrow and she will have a hang over so the day will be a bitch. I hate people and I cant stand having to deal with them. Yes, there is a God, but is back has been turned on me for along long time. And I doubt if there is anygoing back. So the bullshit continues and the hate rises up and that is the world according to Sheryl

Holding breath good bad or indifferent

I don't know whether to hold my breath, or assume that it is going to work out or not. My friend as lived in the back apt of this house for 12years and finally we think the front part of the house will be free soon. There is a for rent sign out and I called the landlord and he said he would know more tue or thurs but he knows I am a friend of Diane's which hopefully will help as she is always on time with her rent and she is very very clean. Of course the down side is it is 500 deposit and 500 amonth rent. I will have to pay electric but everything including heat is electric so maybe I can get on the budget.It has two bedrooms but one is small but oh I could really use it as a art studio and then with a small bed for Bailey to visit. And BA would be safe there. And there is a washer and dryer included. It has a small back porch attached close to hers and then a front door leading out to the frontyard.  She is making all type of plans to get me moved. But, I am afraid to make any big plans and it isnt like I have any big pieces to move other than my TV and Scott would have to carry it.She wants to go tuesday and get all my laundry caught up which is good butttttt I just dont know. I have to move and get away from Jodi so she cant blame me for what she does or doesnt do. I even told the landlord that Diane and I would do the cleaning. She figures we can wash the walls and everything down and do the carpets one day then the next day bring my things over and then pull stove and refrigerator and washer and dryer out and scrub everything down and get the curtains up. Sounds good I am ready to move in now. And I have to find me a bed as I dont have one. And some kind of chair for the living room. I just dont feel good and how can you explain that. I feel like staying in bed and just not gettingup but while lying there then I feel like wow I could get up and do something and once up the bad feelings come back.Stress or just plain tired of struggling who the hell knows.  Well, I am going to lay down again and try and figure out how I am going to pay the landlord. I have to move so I have to find away. labor day boy they named that right.

Wasted day, stupid medical people and were the hell is the bus

Left the house at 8am of course bus didnt get there until 8:25 I wouldnt have had to be on it at all but Jodi had my unemployment debit card and got it caught in the banks atm machine. Which means I had to go and get it this morning. I should have known it was going to be a comedy of errors. I hurt so bad I can barely walk. Well, I get to the Bank and had to wait until 9am so got a cup of senior coffee ( didnt realize I qualifiedy:) ) Anyway I went over to the Bank gave them my id with my picture and SS#on it even though it is expired it isnt like my face will change or the SS# would and then gave them my birth certificate, SS card with num on it. And the unemployment award paper with name address and last 4 numbers on it. And they didnt want to gvie me my card as my Id was expired. Let's just say I went off and I got my card stupid asses makes you want to punch them all in the mouth.
So I left there went and got Jodi a pack of cigs and her bus money so I wouldnt have to listen to her mouth. And decided I was not going to walk to the health clinic but ride the bus around as I just was hurting to bad and felt bad. So I went to Dollar General got teeth supplies(cleaning and brush) and excedrins  and I did find a charger for my aa batteries for my camera. So I got that as if I didnt jodi would spend all my money. Anyway I got to the clinic and told them I didnt have an appointment but I just needed the triage nurse to look at these bites and rash on my arm as it was thought to be either bedbug bites or scabies or whatever. NO they wanted me to make an appointment. I said no I needed her to just come out look and see if it was contagious or what. NO. So before I left I let everyone know in the waiting room and all that if atfter going to the Er and if was scabbies they would be liable to get it as I was not seen.  So feeling bad I walked over to the ER.  It was bites and they gave me 3 kinds of meds don't know if I am going to get it filled as they also gave me a shot. Wouldnt give me anything for the severe pain I am in told me go back to the doctors (no dont ask what I said) Anyway left there was going to walk home but just couldnt do it it was to hot and I still feel bad. as my BP was 200over 98 so ooooo. The bus took for ever and if I had walked I would have beat the dam bus. But, I waited and still had to walk 2 blocks as they changedthe bus routes and I forgot which one was which. 
Oh it gets better. I came home and told Scott and Steph I had to go over to west lafayette to pick up my meds but I was calling to see how much it was. Now I had my bp meds that I hadnt picked up lazst week. Would you believe that they went with out my meds and money so they made a trip for nothing so how stupid is that.  
Jodi is acting like a bitch again and I dont know how long this is going on. It is a hot humid day and I am tired of this shit. But, it really seems like a wasted day that is for sure.

Wide a wake what the heck time is it

3:14am in the dam morning and I can't sleep. Nothing on the telly and I even upset BA he got down on the floor. I have did my unemployment and Pearl's too. I played on Pogo.com and even a game on face book. What the crap I am tired just cant sleep. I am hurting all over and no painpills  Dam I am not going to be in a good mood tomorrow. And of course Jodi will be back tomorrow afternoon. Have to make sure BA is around front with Scott be for she gets home. It does fell good to have BA with me. Who would have thought that at 61 everything would suck so bad and my kids would be using me like they did. Sometimes I think this isnt my life I am missing something. I am just tired of  all of this. And of course, I really dont have anyone to helpme. I really dont know what to do.  Guess maybe I need to try and lay down again.

Not what was expected

Saturday night, and I expected to be at the Jazz Festival. Diane went to work for a few hours at the nursing home she works at.But, she said she wasn't feeling good all week. Actually, I just she just didnt want to go. Oh, well there is always next year. We bombed the building again and so set outside most of the day. The birds liked it. But got a little warm and decided to use thier drinking water to take a bath. Jodi went and stayed in a hotel with alan. Glad they had the dam money for it. So I let Scott bring BA around and he is staying with me tonight. Bailey found $20 in an atm machine so he bought me and him ice cream. He is Nana's boy. I am putting my pictures on Flickr so I wont loose them off the laptop. So I decided I am going to use the other blog on here as my photo dairy also. So tomorrow I will start adding them. My stomach is upset and I think it is all the stress. Anyway at least tonight is quiet and that is what I need. Hope everyone has a nice long weekend.

Time flys when your not having fun

It is a cool 73 degrees and the humidity is down. They have bombed and sprayed for the bedbugs in building and will be doing it again. So we got rid of all of our furniture. Now we have found out that the man upstairs in the front has scabies. Dam everyone is going to the doctor just to checked. If I got them I would kill him. But, I never went around him and didnt let him in the apartment which might be the reason we didnt get them. Anyway my friend doesnt feel good enough to go to the Jazz Festival so guess we arent going of course now that jodi has taken the last of my Darvocets and I cant get them refill until 9/19 I am screwed. No pain pills for me. Anyway tomorrow I will have to take the birds out back for a while as they are bombing again and then spraying. So on the patio we go. Actually that is where I am now. I just hope I can get into the front apt soon.Who knows that will get screwed up too. Nothing has gone right since we come back. Even though I love Lafayette. Guess have to take the good with the bad. To bad there is more bad than good at the moment.